Valentine's Day

A few people, including my OBGYN, have asked if I am concerned about the new baby developing brain cancer and if I am doing anything to prevent it.  This has been a good opportunity to explain and clarify a few things about Michael's cancer. 

First, the kind of cancer that he has is not something that could have been prevented.  It was not caused by anything that I did or didn't do in pregnancy, anything I've been exposed to or he was exposed to.  Second, it was not caused by genetic issues.  My kids do not have a higher risk of developing this kind of cancer than any other child. 

This kind of brain cancer that Michael has, as far as all the research has said, is purely a statistical anomaly.  As our doctor put it, "Each of us grows a brain, and there is always a certain percentage that something goes wrong."  Brain cancer like Michael's is not increasing within a population (yes, other cancers are, but not this one) but instead holds steady across any given population.  If there is any increase, it would very minimal and be due to better healthcare, such as in 3rd world countries with better doctors and advanced imaging equipment being able to detect it.  Before such equipment is a available, a child with brain cancer like Michael's is probably thought to die from some sort of intestinal disease because of the incessant vomiting (which we know is caused by pressure in the head, not by a stomach issue).

So no, I am not doing anything special for the new baby nor am I expecting brain cancer to happen again in our family.   But saying that, I will admit that there is a certain amount of anxiety that accompanies this pregnancy.  I'm sure every parent that has a child born with special needs or goes through what we have would have similar anxieties and worries that everything will be alright this time around.
 
Valentine's Day becomes so much fun as the kids grow older.  Everyone seems to get into it more and more.

This year we did a couple of fun things the kids loved.  Tim and I teamed up and made pink blueberry pancakes and trimmed them into heart shapes for breakfast.  Tim also picked up strawberry Hershey's syrup for their milk.  A friend gave us fun valentine plates and table cloth. 

 For dinner we made Fondue (reminiscent of the 18 months I lived in Switzerland as a missionary.  Just the smell of the cheese just makes me feel happy) and finished with a heart shaped jello cake topped with whipped cream and strawberries.

The weather has been so mild this year in Fort Collins.  This week the kids asked to take the easel outside to be inspired by nature for some painting.

And the kids couldn't resist turning the basketball hoop into a horse and riding it around the house.  The crazy/fun things that kids do!

Sarah had her 1st Grade concert at school and got to dress like a blue bug.  She was a ball to watch because she loved every minute of performing her show.  Whitney and Spencer have been dressing up like bugs since her show; there's nothing like whatever an older sibling does the younger ones think it's super cool.

What are little boys and girls made of?

This morning we had an ultrasound for the new little one joining our family. 

When Sarah came home from school this is what we had waiting for her:

She had a great time figuring out from the clues that we are having a little girl.

Spencer is the one who has been on the money from the beginning.  He's always insisted that he had a baby in his tummy too and it was a girl.  Of any of my kids, I would have gone with his pick.  He's always had a remarkable connection between heaven and earth.

In the meantime, Michael got a walker.

We've got to help him with it quite a bit, but it's a fun place to start. 

He was getting a little annoyed and tired by the end.  Who would have thought that seniors and toddlers alike would appreciate the invention of tennis balls.

For Family Home Evening, we made hearts with little notes to each other hung them around the kitchen:

There might be times it seems there is a lot of yelling and screaming and crying around here, but we also have a lot of love in this family.  And one more little girl gets to join us.

Watch me walk

We've had a couple of good days (and a couple of bad ones mixed in, but I'll start with the good ones).

We met with Dr. Arnold for Michael's eyes and he said that his eyes are "excellent" under the circumstances.   He explained it with an analogy he's used many times:  for most people, holding our eyes center isn't something we even have to think about, our brain just does it.  For Michael -  after his second brain surgery - it's like asking him to carry a 35 pound backpack, an impossibility for a baby.  The eye surgery couldn't take the backpack off, but it could make the backpack a 2 pound backpack instead of 35, something that he can do.  Hence after the surgery his eyes are so much better.  But when Michael is sick or tired or just doesn't want to carry that 2 pound backpack, his eyes (particularly his right) will drift in a bit.  That's normal. His vision is great under the circumstances - he can see distances and detail so much better.  And we will be following those eyes closely to see if anything else can be done in the future to help.

He's army crawling around the house and has a huge fascination for going up and down stairs (which we have to help him with, of course).  Since his eyes have improved, he's throwing a fit if he sees someone eating something that he's not eating.  I can't tell you how happy it makes me to see him throw a fit over something like that!

 Also, he got new "magic boots" or leg braces (called AFO's for ankle foot orthosis).  These ones are red instead of blue with bears on them and hinge at the ankle so they feel more natural to walk in.  No more feeling like he was trying to walk in ski-boots with the old ones.  We call them "magic boots" because what he is capable of doing physically is astounding when he has them on.  Since putting his new ones on, he has been lifting up his legs and walking!  It's been amazing.

For some reason he thinks Honey Nut Cheerios are the best treat during his therapy sessions.

Here I go!

Now I'm steppin' with style.

We have funny exchanges with people in public sometimes:

Nice lady:  "Oh, that little guy of yours looks SOOO tired!  I had two kids of my own and I know that look when their eyes and face droop and they just want to nod off."
Us:  "Actually, he looks like this all of the time."
Nice lady:  ".....!"
(we usually explain why)

We haven't been sure if Michael will ever be able to walk on his own and still aren't sure.  But while waiting for our eye doctor appointment, Michael wanted to walk around the waiting room even without his "magic boots" on.  While taking him around I was just about in tears watching this amazing miracle happen, when a nice elderly couple said, "Are you sure you want him to learn to walk so young??"  I replied, "Well, he's almost 19 months old and has had brain cancer for the past year.  Watching him pick up his legs and try to walk today is truly a miracle for this kid." 

Later a new tech took us back to the exam room for Michael's eye appointment.  She wrote down my concerns and then got out a light to check his eyes - I thought to check for range of motion.  But after several seconds she says:
Tech:  "Buddy, come on, aren't you going to blink at this light?"
Me:  "He actually can't blink"
Tech:  "What?!  What do you mean he can't blink?" (waving the light in his eyes)
Me:  "He can't blink.  He can't use his facial muscles and can't blink or smile" (what I wanted to say was "Stop!  You are hurting him!  Put that thing away!")
Tech:  (she quickly puts away the light and leaves the room)

Tim and another mom are watching Sarah's basketball game, while Michael and the other little baby are both practicing standing and interacting with each other.  The other baby was probably 5 or 6 months old.
Mom (to her little baby):  "Look, you have a friend!  What a cute little baby."  (to Tim) "How old is he?"
Tim:  "18 months"
Mom:  (gets an alarmed look on her face and quickly moves away before Tim can explain)

It gives me and Tim a good chuckle when things like this happen. 

Other more "normal" random things going on around here:

A few nights ago a horrible burning smell started coming from our dishwasher.  It took a couple more nights of running it and our house being filled with nasty smoke to discover that the wiring was melting inside of it!!  We are so lucky it didn't catch fire (found out that it's been a problem with our model!).  So we got the awesomeness of buying a new dishwasher although we won't have it up and running for at least another week.  It's been a great opportunity to teach the kids how to hand-wash dishes, a lost skill if you ask me.

Spencer has a totally horrible infected toe.  He's on anti-biotics now and we get to wrap that baby up twice a day.  He's had to be a pretty brave kid for awhile and we will find out in two weeks if he'll need some more minor work on it.  (last year it was healing those darn scabs on his face, this year it's the toe).  He spends his days riding his green bike around and around and around the house.

He also thinks he has to insert his play keys into his bike so it will go

Whitney has already decided her Valentine this year will be dad.  She made him a big fancy Valentine and gave it to him last week.  She's also counting down the days to her half-birthday.  For some reason, this is a super big deal to a 5-year-old.  It probably helps Tim in her book that they share the same half-birthday.  She's been struggling with fatigue and concentration issues for quite sometime.  After wondering if she was just becoming lazy, we are now looking into medical causes and have a couple of strategies in place we are giving a try.

Sarah thinks she's got a half-crush on a boy and made him a very fancy Valentine the other day too.  She wanted to give it to him in secret, but realized she couldn't, so she just gave it to him.  Thankfully, he was pleased, so the world is still turning for her.

We also are cracking down on routines, responsibilities, and asking the kids to step up around here.  We've had way too much whining, screaming, and fit-throwing when we ask them to do the simplest of things and we are far overdue for some changes around here.  Tim and I are crossing our fingers that our new charts and rewards will work for a long season instead of a brief one.

Tim still remains the ever popular parent around here.

Just TWO days and we discover if we're having a boy or a girl.  Stay tuned...